The Daily Cope

May 16

Today I worked my 8 hour job and then taught music lessons after that, as I do on most days. I could
feel my usual headache creeping around the edges. It felt like an ominous darkness and a searing light
at the same time. It usually has the same sound too, which is opinionated memories and melodramatic
regret, but mostly unanswered questions. I did my best to ignore all this during the day while doing
office tasks, smiling at annoying co-workers and trying to extract joy from other people by telling them their hair looks good or I like their clothes.

Friends and family have called and texted throughout the day about this, that and the other but my
headache crowds out whatever it is they are trying to tell me. I have to find a new apartment in the
next six weeks, clean out my current storage unit, move the remaining stuff into a smaller one, move
my sister out of her dorm, send her overseas for study abroad and then, of course, move myself into
whatever new apartment I find. I hope my friends and family don’t mind that I won’t call or text them
back. If I have any free time, I’m fairly certain my migraines will claim it.

Now I’m home and the sound and feel of my headache has a better chance of taking me over. I’ll go to bed the way I usually do, ice, heat, book, water and my prized possessions in their little brown bottles on the night stand.

Rest = Possible Migraine

First time in 8 weeks, I had a free weekend and the thought of this was terrifying.  

Just because the previous 8 weekends have been booked doesn't mean they have been migraine free.  In fact, all 8 have included a migraine on one or both days of the weekend. 

The terrifying part of this euphoric empty weekend was how NOT to fuck it up.  Too much sleep can induce a migraine.  Everyone knows that too much stress can cause a migraine, but so can the absence of stress.  Relaxing on the couch makes my back and neck stiff and this causes a migraine.  Reading too much hurts my eyes, this causes a migraine.  But the overcoming exhaustion of two jobs and chronic pain made me (again) throw caution to the wind and I went to bed while it was still light out with an ice pack, my heating pad, a glass of water, several bottles of pills nearby and my book.  

It's Sunday morning now and my pain level is probably a 3 and my stiff neck is causing me a small amount of panic.  Light panic.  Haha.  Mad laughter.  I haven't taken any of my most valuable medication, the good stuff, the family jewels: Zomig Nasal Spray, so I will call this weekend a success.  However, I'm reaching for a table to knock on, because it's only Sunday morning.  I shouldn't call it until tomorrow morning.